My Experience in Costa Rica

Costa Rica, surfingAs I lay in the hammock by our beachfront villa in Costa Rica, I am reflecting on 2014 and my life overall…

This is probably the most vulnerable and open post I have written so far and I feel like sharing it with you, my friends. If it resonates just with one person, if it inspires someone, my efforts will not be wasted.

Only several hours ago, last night I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sad, lonely and abandoned. I started sobbing and the only reason I was not crying out loud is because I had another 2 people sharing room with me. That was one of the worst feeling you could ever experience… All I wanted is someone to give me a hug and say ‘Everything is going to be O.K.’ I was silently praying for this feeling to go away, because emotional pain was unbearable. To make myself feel better, I have reminded myself Elizabeth Gilbert from the book ‘Eat. Pray. Love‘. She felt the same way, and every one of us goes through this feelings and emotions sooner or later, so ‘nothing is wrong with me’. Also, in moments like that I become needy and crave attention from someone I am dating. And honestly, I hate being needy, because generally  it pushes any man away. At the same time, I crave to feel save and be with a man who can handle this “neediness” once in a while, because it is natural for us, women, we can’t control it, and this is the time when WE NEED YOU, MEN, THE MOST.

Katrina StarzhynskayaSo, I am leaving the hammock and walking towards the ocean as it whispers my name. As I am floating on a ‘boogie-board” and feeling just pure bliss, I am reflecting on my life again and feeling grateful. Life is just so amazing. I am so blessed and fortunate to spend several weeks in Costa Rica with my family. Eat the best freshest organic foods, enjoy daily massages, yoga and surf lessons. Absolutely blessed, alas, something is missing… I am on a quest to find my path to fulfillment and contentment.

Just a few years ago I though if I were able to build a business that will let me work from anywhere in the world, I will be happy. Today I have a business that lets me work from anywhere in the world, all I need is my laptop and a cell phone, and still something is missing… This is such a though-provoking feeling… Why am I here? What’s my mission? Why was I chosen among 10% of unconventional minds?What am I supposed to do with that? How can I help? How can I save the world?

It’s so fascinating to observe family members… There are 16 of us total, including a 5 year old and a 3 year old. I love watching kids and admiring their joyous and care free lives. Their curiosity, nonjudgmental characters, and sparks in their eyes.

It is indeed fascinating to observe adults as well… All of us come from different backgrounds and from average middle class families. Somehow some of us worth 10 billion and some of us are still a middle class. Some of us are open-minded, kind and caring, and some of us are judgmental, negative, and closed-minded. Why? What drives us? These questions are constantly on my mind and I dig deep brains of people to get the answers. People are fascinating. You can learn a ton about yourself just by asking questions and listening to others.

One of the interesting moments I wanted to share with you, readers.

Costa Rica, Katrina StarzMy parents have landed in CR a few hours before my sister and I. By the time we have arrived, someone broke into my dad’s car and stole his laptop bag. My dad had ALL his documents, including drivers license and a PASSPORT there and all of his cash, he was traveling with. Of course it is a horrible situation, however I was trying to make the best out of it and used some Tony’s techniques on my dad. He was trying to play a victim, so I made him change his state and ask ‘What lesson should I learn from this situation?’ Still not sure if my coaching worked, but at least I did my best. Next day we found out that there are no Belarusian embassy in Costa Rica, only Russian. We have contacted Russian embassy asking for help. They told us my dad would have to show up and bring 2 documents proving his identity and citizenship. WTF, all of his documents got stolen! So Russian embassy told us then we need to bring 2 more Belarusian citizens with national passports to confirm his identity. We had one Belarusian citizen — my mom, so we were missing one more… No luck… Then we tried Belarusian embassy in New York city, they told us to contact Washington. Washington told us to contact embassy in Cuba, since it was the nearest one. Cuba requested to make several payments, that my sister and I and other members of the family were unable to make, being Americans. Then Cuba also stated it would take about a month or more due to holidays to get a paper to go back to Belarus.

Luckily my dad has connections in Belarus. One of his friends is a former ambassador in the US. AND LUCKILY MY DAD WAS ABLE TO RECALL HIS CELL PHONE NUMBER BY HEART, since my dads cell was also stolen. My dad called his friend and he gave him direct number (mobile) of a current Belarusian ambassador on Cuba. He was ready to help immediately.  So finally our family came to a solution: Katrina (i.e. myself) will fly to Cuba to pick up the papers to expedite the process. Great! In case I get persecuted by Cubans, I already have contact with Belarusian ambassador, so may be he will protect me. Then we have decided to buy airline tickets and invite ambassador from Cuba to Costa Rica and wine and dine him in exchange of papers for my dad. After this presumptuous proposal the ambassador immediately found a solution and sent all the proper documentation for my dad via an airline. So tomorrow, my dad and I are flying to San Jose (if they let my dad on a plane without any documents) to Russian embassy to pick up the “temporary” passport that arrived from Cuba. Jeez, just like in a movie… :) Tomorrow will be an adventure :))))

Katrina Starzhynskaya, Costa RicaOn another note… Can you imagine, Tinder works in CR! I am going through a very bad ‘attention’ withdrawal. The guy I am seeing in San Diego is one of the most amazing people I have ever met. He just swept me off my feet and gave me so much attention that I was on cloud 9. Honestly, it was too good to be true. While I am traveling, he withdrew ALL of his attention and it makes me needy. So instead of bugging him for his attention, I have decided to go on dates to distract myself. I get really anxious when I get this gut feeling that I am about to get abandoned. It might be false, but most of the time it is not. So the best way to stay grounded is to meet new people and be open minded.

And last but not least, I have been contemplating on 2014 and what I have experienced  s well as working on my 2015 goals. Most of the times, us, overachievers, are too hard on ourselves. I always feel like I am not doing enough, I am not dedicated enough, I am not committed enough and list goes on and on. So now it is a perfect time to give yourself a pat on a back for all we have been through in 2014 and all our accomplishments. Also, it is important to find a balance between being too hard on yourself and being content. Hunger drives us to achieve more, to be more and to give more. However sometimes we need to slow down, reflect, reassess, and just be…

I will update you, friends, soon on my adventure to Russian embassy tomorrow, romantic dates (if any) and a goal-setting technique I have learned from someone here (top 1%).

Meanwhile, leave a comment. Be vulnerable. Share with me your thoughts, fears, goals, desires.

Remember, we are in this together.

Updates:

We have received a temporary passport to return to Belarus, however since my dad was not able to restore his US visa, we have to reroute him through Europe. I am SUPER grateful for all your wishes and LOVE I have received!

Happy New Year!!!

p.s You can read all about my adventures LOVE, BUSINESS, MODELING and more  in my book Raw. Real. Revealed 

 

 

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